How To Banish Approach Anxiety Once And For All2 min read
Talking to girls is scary for most guys. If it weren’t so scary, it would be easy, right? Do you remember what it was like to be a kid? You could talk to all kinds of people without any fears, right? So what happened?
This is what happened: When you were zero to two years old, every adult in the world was conspiring to get you to stand up, walk, and express yourself. Everything you said was pure gold and photographed for all posterity.
Then from two years old onward, pretty much every adult in the world was conspiring to get you to sit down and shut up. With increasing frequency, everything you said and did was met with scrutiny, disapproval, or outright anger.
This next part gets a bit uncomfortable for some guys. Most of the time, as a kid that person who was doing all the disapproving was your mom. The most important woman in the world.
Now, as an adult, when you see a woman, who by default becomes the most important woman in the world, or at least at that particular time and that particular environment, it triggers those same feelings of expected disapproval or anger. Is it any wonder walking up a hot girl is so incredibly difficult?
How do you overcome this? Self hypnosis. You need to reprogram your mind so that when you see hot girls, instead of remembering all those times you got in trouble for expressing your desires (and acting on them) you felt wonderful feelings.
Search back in your past, and find all the good experiences you’ve had with girls. As many sexual or romantic experiences as you can find. Even that time a girl touched you briefly will work. The point is to recall those real feelings based on real experiences, and associate them with those girls you see on a daily basis.
The trick is to go to places where there are lots of girls you’d like to talk to. Just be in that environment, and purposely recall all those good feelings you’ve actually had with women, whatever they are.
Now, this is going to take time. It took a while to build up those feelings of anxiety, and it’s going take a while to lay down the new circuitry in your brain, so those available women will automatically trigger the good feelings, instead of the bad ones.
To accelerate this process, purposely approach girls with those good feelings in mind. Don’t worry about getting the number or anything. Just focus on building some new experiences to prove to yourself that talking to hot girls is normal, natural, fun and expected.